Dole

I sign at 1.45,
mines pretty regular,
they’ve got my hide,
watch my back and my bike,
they talk nice, I spin a few lines,
I'm not sayin I lie, im looking for work,
I just wont jerk chicken for a fiver a time,
nor will I pour wine,
it’s a fine line between
me and the big time,
but I sit and I yadder for tupance a week,
the future is brighter ,
brighter than bleak ,
I yadder some more for £60.50
while the shify fuck next to me’s on smack
smirking nifty,
might sell him some brick dust,
fuck it’s a quick must,
make a few quick bucks and buckle his teeth.


By Le d

4 minute slots for signing on at the Job Centre

It's a flawed system with broken pistons,
the machine doesn't function in the time it was given,
I'm listed, I'm gifted, at 1.24,
if I get there at two-five they'll slam the door,
but i get there at 15 and they make me sit,
and pickle my brains next to essex-chav-shit,
and I sign on and whine on, no employment for me,
unless I'm up for being a cleaner, a skivy,
fuck the job centre and fuck the dole,
even rapists get parole,
and get out with jobs without
going back on the dole,
I've applied for so much
that I'm getting the arse-ache
I never hear owt
and it's making my head ache.
I try and try,
I apply with guile,
but end up at home
watching Jeremy Kyle.

By Dr Sky

Teeth bab

The sight of his gums,
unsightly as bums,
reminds me of lib dems with teeth coated in bab,
it really was bad,
I stared and I stared until I went mad -
where was his tooth brush?
was he in that much of a rush,
that he couldn't remove the brown crud from his mouth,
how he will he ever get a girl to go south?
he'll never date with a face like a grate,
all covered in mould and filthy and old,
if you've not heard of bab,
it's northern for SHIT,
and those teeth that he had
were covered in it,
perhaps he had a fetish,
shit salad, not lettuce,
a cack covered pie
with piss strips for lattice,
something about him
really was babbish.
just get some colgate,
and brush it away,
and stop chewing tobacco,
you babber, today.

By Dr Sky

Ode to Susan

She's a bit simplistic,
she makes me ballistic,
cos nothing she says is that realistic,
but for chart number 1's she knows how to list it,
she's ugly as fuck with a face like a duck,
and waddles and quacks to the sound of the drum,
and in nightclubs we listen and dance while on rum,
and she's raking it in,
she's taking it in,
that lily allen is making me grin,
but only because i've had too much beer,
so thank you for sending me "the fear"

By Dr Sky